Tuesday, June 9, 2015

New blog on WordPress

A sincere and heart-felt thanks to all the followers of this blog. But due to technical difficulties and in search of more freedom in design, i have chosen Wordpress over Blogger.

I have shifted to WordPress with my own domain and will be blogging on that platform from now on. My old blog posts will be available on that domain too.

I hope i would receive the same or even more love and attention to my blog:  http://thoughtsofgreymatter.com/

Kavya Devarapalli.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Life After College

I have always wondered during my Under-Graduation when my seniors used to whine and say ''Life sucks once you get out of college, cherish the moments when you can''; about what's so tough about life after college. I am now at that point of life, where i can weigh both the aspects and come to a logical conclusion about it also making my peers who are juniors aware of what to expect after graduating from your college.

Almost three weeks into completing the term at college, the idea of home settles in, unlike the initial days where you just couldn't accept the notion of college life coming to an end. The beautiful friendship bond taking backseat and more focus on your personal life steps in. No more late nights with friends and no more 'not caring how you spend your time'. Everything just stops and you keep going back to those memories of four long years and might even shed a tear or two in its remembrance.

Once you reach home, your parents are the happiest persons in the world; and they show love and care so much that they would want to compensate all the lost four years and drown you in their big pink ocean of love!. And this, in my case; is really frightening. I am a person who needs just the right amount of attention; not more, not less. When i get the too much of it; its as bad as getting too less! I tend to shut myself; go nuts and become a potentially crazy person that needs medical attention. Being at home; with all the extra love and care; it would sound ridiculous to most of the people but i am going to say it out anyway; that I am going crazy! Lack of work, lack of action, no fun, no friends around; no more creative stuff i used to do; no exercise; no going out on all by myself for long walks just shuts my mind and it feels suffocating. But hey, it won't be the same for everybody.

 I recently bought a Lenovo A7000 with my Dad's money and installed the much awaited WhatsApp and started asking people (i was so mesmerized with new phone that i started trivial conversations with just anybody on WhatsApp!) how they are doing after the college; if they are encountering same problems such as I or is it just me. People of my batch are suddenly the people who are always online. Ofcourse, i am online too and hence i got to know. Mostly my batch has resorted to either Facebook or WhatsApp to relieve their bored minds. To 'do' something when there's nothing to do; is damn tough!

'Boring' has become the most used word by our batch which recently passed out; and everybody started counting the days to join in a new office; to welcome new life. Its good to think there's something waiting for us at the end of the tunnel; either the job or some kind of work you would be engaged in for another long period of time and know that its going to build your career. This is the main reason, i think, my seniors advised to plan my career before passing out of college; because after that everything is going to be a hullabaloo and we won't have enough time to plan and execute. Else, there will be peer pressure and pressure from parents and relatives asking you what will you do with life and there you are, with no clue! Now, that's real hell. So, dear juniors, here's my piece of advice. Follow my seniors' words. Do plan out your career before leaving your college; because after that; you wouldn't want to think about what your friends are doing and what you are unable to. You wouldn't want to be a confused and self-loathing Under Graduate who has no clue what he/she wants from life.

One of my friends has started going to Zumba classes, working out every day during evenings to keep herself occupied. Another friend started to plan out a business idea that can earn a lot (take figures in lakhs!). And some are just enjoying their last few days at home, before embarking to their new lives in new cities. So, this is it. Life comes to a halt suddenly when you pass out of college and the pace it picks up is slow; and every moment you would want to do something that can bring the action back.  The occurrence of something interesting and out of blue is minimal.

Out of three weeks at home, this is what I have come upto. Almost hating my life at home; reminiscing the good old days at college. Maybe this could get better. Maybe not. Only way to find out is wait for my next post.

Image Courtesy: ugacareercenter.files.wordpress.com

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Monday, May 11, 2015

How NOT to propose love to a girl.

We youngsters claim to have been in love more times than we've passed exams in Engineering colleges! Our love is directed more towards smartphones, books, KFC chicken, cars&bikes, electronic gizmos etc., rather than human beings. Maybe we are too afraid to let our vulnerable self seen to others. And in-spite of all these hurdles, there are those aashiq(s) who proclaim their love to the girl that they always dreamt. But sometimes, the prissie girls misunderstand our aashiq just because of well, lets say, the 'randomness of their ways' or as normal people say 'badluck' of the guy.

Following are few points one should AVOID while proposing a girl of one's dreams:

1. Meet her at some random place and pop out the words "Baby! I Love You" in a jiffy.

You may have known her for ages, but maybe she never noticed you. Its safe to get to know her better and make her acknowledge your presence in her life and then propose. Otherwise it could lead to dire consequences; 'coz you see Indian laws are inclined towards women protection!

2. Sending a text message or Facebook message.

One needs to have eye-contact while making others believe in you and your capabilities. That's how you crack the nut. Messages won't just suffice and might as well scare the girl off, if she's not too into you! Besides if she 'blocks' you; you won't even be able to Facebook-stalk her whenever you want. So, its a No.

3. Proposing when her mood is too crabby.

Maybe her boss yelled at her or maybe her best friend wore the same dress to a party even after agreeing on not to. Whatever it is, its a big red flag when she's mad at something and you right away propose.

4. Asking others to convey your love/Not telling her exactly that you love her.

Of course proposing love is similar to subjecting yourself to some sick test where you either pass and leap high or fail and dive to rock bottom. But then, you gotta be courageous; for its love!

5. Proposing in front of her boss or members of the family.

While you think proposing in front of a boss urgently would be romantic or sound like a ''2-States'' movie proposal; its gonna be a fiasco indefinitely; especially when you don't know what her answer would be. So, save yourself from a heart break status.

6.  Last Day Proposal

Proposing on the last day or eleventh hour in Bollywood style thinking she would cancel her plans to grab that lucrative job or stop marrying that guy after listening to you is pure crap! Don't wait till its too late.

7. Proposing her just after her break-up.

Okay, you might be the happiest person on earth after knowing about her break-up with a worthless man. But dude, you gotta contain your happiness and wait till the moment she gets over the break-up; else you're gonna have to deal with her and her ex too!

Just be yourselves and show the thunder. Maybe even after doing everything right, you might not succeed sometimes. But remember, she's the one to lose and not you.
Image Courtesy:prolog.rs

Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Autumn Leaf.

Oh dear autumn leaf,
How serenely you lay here
In the midst of the hullabaloo
You seem to be getting nowhere
The autumn leaf smiled patiently
Hearing me question her passivity
''I've had my time over there'', pointed she
Towards the tree and its lush green leaves.
'But don't you fear getting forgotten?
Asked I with piqued mind
That nobody would remember your existence
Neither the human nor your own kind.
She sighed a big sigh and then answered peacefully
''The tree knows, the wind knows and i know
That my existence mattered to them
As much as their own for a while.''
''Nothing lasts forever, not even the tree himself
So stop being blue and enjoy the green leaves''.
I walk back to my abode, reflecting on those words
Finally stopped fearing the fear of being forgotten.
Image Courtesy: wallpaperstock.net

Friday, May 8, 2015

Bicycle Diaries: How i managed to learn cycling!

"Side do..side do side do....BAM!"
"Dekh ke chalao yaar..."
"So sorry man! Sorry", said I with frowning eyes and apologetic smile to the passerby whom i have hit with the security guard's bicycle.(yeah, i borrowed it for training sessions)

The day ended with so many apologies from my side and sneering from the pedestrians. Well, to say honestly, it was my fault. I started learning bicycle recently and as the ritual goes, you either fall and hurt yourself while riding it or end up dashing to the dustbin or the pedestrians.

It all started when i looked at a blue bicycle during my seventh semester while having snacks and relived my childhood thus promising myself that i'd learn cycling before passing out from NIT.

 "Why the hell do you want to learn riding a bicycle? Start with a scooty or car driving" was the inevitable advice i was given by most of the friends when they heard me saying "Aaj cycle chalaana seekhne jaa rahi hoon" ("Going to learn riding a bicycle today"). But then, its the crazy, wild heart that wants it all; by the end of the semester,  to go around the campus with full speed and hands free on a cycle; showing off my major accomplishment.I found a friend who shared my interest and helped me out with the training course.

All was well till I acquired the cycle and started pedaling it; but hell broke loose when the support system;read my trainer cum friend let go of the cycle thinking i could manage without him. The human brain works in different ways and it feared whenever a hint of insecurity crept in; thus inevitably resulting in falling down and injuring my knee caps!

The first few days went on monotonously, with my friends' disappointing looks when i couldn't manage the handle and the public's(read, boys and girls under age 10) mocking looks when i tried to pedal my way out of staff quarters at NIT. I mean, who the hell would imagine it needed a lot of concentration and pressure on the damn handle to keep the tyres rolling straight! It almost felt like i could never learn cycling. To top it up, we almost encountered one or two kids cycling in front of us everyday!

Then to increase my productivity, my friend offered a Bournville if i could even hit him with my cycle. Maybe he was too confident that i would never be able to pedal till his standing point or maybe he preferred getting hit rather than see me struggle with the handle;  i would never know. Poor me, i tried my best to win that Bournville, but of vain.

And one day, i started pedaling thinking my friend was behind me supporting the cycle.One moment i was happy to feel the air and the next moment i was perplexed as i couldn't hear his voice anymore. I mean, i was on the downside of the road and the cycle was too fast. I was at my wits end, when i realized i was all alone and i had to take a turn amidst all that apprehension! Turn i did, with so much valor, that i would never forget. That one defining moment, even though small or insignificant for the outer world; made me believe in myself. That moment,i shed all my fears and doubts, and enjoyed to the fullest the happiness of becoming a cyclist.

Well, the next moment, i hit a woman who uttered out expletives that i will never forget!

 But it was worth it. Life is all the same i reflected philosophically that night. You try to balance yourself, make mistakes, hurt somebody with or without knowing, inevitably and then learn to control it finally. And the moment you feel you're in control, its an exquisite feeling one can never forget.

As to my cycle training, i am done with it and immensely grateful for my friends who've been part of those sessions often filled with fun! Now is the time i convince my dad to buy me a bicycle. I wish i could just see the  incredulous look on his face; he  would be mighty surprised to hear me ask for a bicycle rather than a scooty!

Image Courtesy: www.wallconvert.com

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Being Human

DISCLAIMER: The following note doesn't dwell on Salman Khan’s Being Human brand in any aspect and the views are solely mine based on real events from different lives of people i came across.

Sometimes, we come across that one moment, when we can’t comprehend what we’re going through. For a moment, everything is just fine and you think you can cope up with the news you were told. You think its not a big deal and you can overcome the ordeal easily. But then it slowly dawns upon you. It slowly pinches you and says, “You dear, have lost the game”. Its still an oblivion, a limbo one can say, when the first moments of the wretched news reach your ears. Your brain takes time in processing the information. “Oh, so what i failed…there’s still hope”, says the wiser part of brain just to avoid the hullabaloo of your animal self that would soon erupt and try to endure all the pain. The conscious mind understands it well. It takes time. And the adrenaline is released to avoid too much of anxiety and pain at such events. The human brain, thus manages for a moment to keep you off the pain.

But then few moments pass. You dwell on that matter. You go back to thinking where it all went wrong. And then you go revisit the past, how much you invested in it, how badly you wanted it and the present just doesn’t fit well with you. You start to avoid it now. You start to question the logic behind all that happened. And then when you can’t find any answers, you erupt. The inner self can take it no more. It needs to be heeded, to be comforted and would want to do anything that can make you escape what you’re going through.

Alas! there’s no escape gate from this stage. You should go through that fire. Burn till all your hopes turn to ashes and are consumed totally by the reality. Burn till your murky older self is lost and the lustrous and strong being emerges. Burn till you can burn no more. And then, what comes out the fire is the strongest self you’ve ever been. Now you look back at the events and make peace with it. Accept that it was never yours and move forward. Make new goals. Strive for it again. And thus, again you subject yourself to that one moment which can take your breath away, and can project into oblivion. But this time, you are more stronger, more wiser and know that you can emerge as a winner no matter what.

And that’s what i call, BEING HUMAN is!

Image Courtesy: deviantart.net